Bryan Redeagle

On Month-long Challenges

I'm apparently not very good at setting up new habits. I am attemping the 100 Days to Offload in order to keep me writing. I'm going to make an attempt at NaNoWriMo (or its community replacement Writing Month). However, I've already tried Inktober on several occasions and never got past day 10.

I generally consider my ability to introspect to be rather good. I know myself, and I know why I do many of the things I do (even if some of the reasons are not very good). But I have a hard time pinning down why I get stuck on these repeatable activities.

It's not for a lack of direction. Inktober gives out a daily prompt. So I know that one day is "witches" and another is "cup", but I still drop off from doing them. I forget or I get busy, and then that slides into forgetting and busying further.

A part of me wonders if it's from worrying what online strangers think, but the point of the exercises aren't to show everyone how good and special you are. They're for personal growth. I don't have to post my art. I don't have to offload onto a public website. I certainly won't do that when I attempt Writing Month.

I am skipping Inktober this year. I don't have the time to draw. It requires, for me, too much solid quiet time that I don't have to give at the moment. That's where writing has been nice. I can do it in small bursts, and going back to edit is very easy. The thing, though, is that I'm not too worried about failing. Nobody I care about is going to shame me for not finishing. I gave it a go, and didn't make it. I can give it another try. I can keep trying until I do it. It's like exercise. Every little bit counts, and eventually all those little bits become big bits.