Bryan Redeagle

On Romantic Conflict

Romance stories are predictable. Many stories are, but romance especially. Popular romance runs on a number of tropes and trusted story beats. While this could make the books very predictable (and often, it does), I'm not focused on that aspect, and I feel confident that it's the same with women, the target demographic.

A book isn't about a woman and a man who live in the same apartment building, they hate each other, and then they love each other. It's about the daughter of immigrants who loves to bake and her new neighbor, her dad's new employee, across the hall. It's about a disabled black woman and her motorbike-riding super, who is teaching her about life. It's about a lonely witch who becomes a nanny and falls in love with a local librarian.

I don't care that there are so many stories about a fake relationship that becomes a real one. Or two people who hate each other but fall in love. It's about the characters and their history, and how that meshes with the love interest's experiences. We always know they'll end up together in the end. Though, in Book Lovers, I wasn't as up with the genre, assumed the worst outcome, and was almost traumatized by it.

I'm sure someone smarter than me has written an article about all this and why women are so attracted to the genre and its predictable tropes. I intend on finding a few of those and reading them. I'd like to know.


Anyways, that brings me to my point. There's a trope in romance that I hate. It's not a bad one. I just hate it. I'm... a good news person. I like reading good, happy things. I don't go hunting for trouble because life is stressful enough as it is.

It's the fight.

At some point in every romance novel I've read, there's been a conflict. In one of those cases, it wasn't an argument, but instead a general situation that the couple had to fight against together. In every other case, one or both of them make some kind of misstep. It causes them to fight and maybe lash out.

I dread it every time it comes up. I can usually see it coming because every book has one, and there's a point where the couple is too happy for it to end just yet. It gives me a bit of a panic every time because they're so happy. I don't want it to end, even if I know they'll figure it out in the end. When I know it's coming, I sometimes put the book down for a bit. I need to steel myself against it and then power through it, knowing it'll get resolved.

I know it probably says a lot about me, and conflict avoidance, and I likely need therapy for something (maybe everything?). But this isn't a clear hero-villain fight (even if one of the characters made the mistake). The characters aren't bad people, and they both want to be happy with each other. That's why I hate it. I don't like seeing two people who clearly love each other getting their hearts broken. It breaks my heart, and I hate it.

I wonder how others react to these conflicts.